Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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