what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
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I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
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He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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