is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
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Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
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It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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