Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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