my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize