So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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