he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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