I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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