last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize