can we get nightvision for the apartment?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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