i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize