you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize