I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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