it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
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by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
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In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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