remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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