her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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