he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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