I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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