11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
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thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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