he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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