Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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