he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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