its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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