never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
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Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
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Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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