We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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