Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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