watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize