this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
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This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
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Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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