I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
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He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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