Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize