Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
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Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
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The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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