You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
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Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
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i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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