I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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