She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize