Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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