I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
We need to get me chipped asap
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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