You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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