I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
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This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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