apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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