Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
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Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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