People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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