A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize