That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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