so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We're too hungover to prance.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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