I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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