Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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