Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize