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You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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