Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize