I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Someone came in the potted fern
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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